great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
