Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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