That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
