Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
