I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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