No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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