Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
