If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
