Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
