i just wanna soil my oats bro
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
