yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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