I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
