just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
