Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
