Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
