Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
