Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
