At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
