How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Let's get the cat blown out
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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