you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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