now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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