Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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