I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
