True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
