You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
