this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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