she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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