It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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