i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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