I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
