So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
