hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
