Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
