i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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