Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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