you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
