she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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