I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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