I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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