so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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