I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
