We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
