bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When did angry sex become our thing?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
