i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
