Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Still dying that you shit outside
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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