and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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