I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
