we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
