I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
