Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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