Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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