My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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