it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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