that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
