He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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