Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
