brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't deserve a penis
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize