She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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