I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
