I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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