the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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