Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
