she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
