worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
