you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
