you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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