Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
