You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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