Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
